life · School

Ladies and Gentlemen, Criminally Insane Minds Productions Gives You…

This is the round robin play that Caitlyn, Ryan, Brittany, Robbie, and I wrote for Speech Class. We had to incorporate the tongue twisters, so that’s why they’re there ^^

Person 1: Okay, so why are we doing this again?

Person 2: It’s for a prank.

Person 3: It’s going to be awesome!

Person 5: We’re going to catch a fish from the Aquarium and throw it onto the basketball court during the pep rally tomorrow.

Person 3: It’s going to be awesome!

Person 1: Why did they even let us in? We came in here with fishing poles and nets. Is carrying this stuff into an Aquarium even legal?

Person 2: They probably think we’re just tourists and we’re carrying poles around for photo opportunities. Technically, nothing we’re doing right now is illegal.

Person 3: It’s awesome!

Person 5: Well, does it matter what kind of fish we get? Like, a catfish or something?

Person 3: We should get the sea turtle! He’s huge and awesome!

Person 2: Are you kidding? That thing probably weighs more than two of us combined!

Person 3: Or an anemone! You know, many an anemone sees an enemy anemone.

Person 2: You scare me, dude.

Person 1: How can we even sneak out of here with a fish? Or get it on the train and make it back to school before the pep rally?

Person 2: I can try to carry it in my coat, I’m sure it’ll be okay. Plus, the two-twenty-two train tore through the tunnel pretty fast, so I’m sure we’ll make it back in time.

Person 4: Well, I guess we can go to the Tennessee River exhibit and see if we can catch a fish in there.

Person 3: This is going to be awesome!

Person 4: Everything is awesome to you.

Person 3: But this is going to be the most awesome of all! Think of it!

Person 1 & 2: No, thank you.

Person 3: No, seriously! It’ll be just the five of us! Out fishing, casting our lines in the water, just sitting around and talking about nothing. It’ll be so peaceful; a true bonding experience! Maybe we’ll even find the meaning of life.

(Arrive at the aquarium)

Person 1: Who ate my six sticky sucker sticks?

Person 2: I didn’t do it. I was giving papa a proper cup of coffee in a copper coffee cup.

Person 3: All right, I admit to it, I ate the sucker sticks.

Person 4: Why would you commit such a petty crime?

Person 3: I’m sorry about the sucker sticks. I had a sweet tooth.

Person 5: That is no excuse. You’d better purchase some more at the gift shop.

Person 1: Whatever. Let’s get back to the fishing. Someone may catch on to us and call the police.

Person 3: I can’t afford to get arrested. I already have two strikes on my record and they’re not taking me alive.

Person 5: Jesus, man, you got to get a new hold on life.

Person 3: Worry about yourself. I’ll be ok.

Person 1: Lord Almighty, I just hooked a monster!

Person 3: You hooked the infamous spotted leopard shark. There is only one in existence today, and you caught him.

Person 5: Isn’t that an endangered species? We’re definitely getting arrested.

Person 3: Help me grab the pole.

(We all fall into the aquarium)

(We all climb out of the water)

Person 1: I am soaked!

Person 2: No, I am soaked!

Person 3: Both of you hush. We’re all soaked!

Person 4: Let’s just sit down and dry off for a few minutes and talk.

Person 5:  I can’t believe we all just fell in the aquarium!

Person 3: I can!

Person 2: Maybe we should all go sit outside!

(We all go sit outside)

Person 4: Its kind of a cloudy day!

Person 3: We surely shall see the sunshine soon!

Person 2: That was kind of a tongue twister there wasn’t it.

Person 3: Yeah, kinda

Person 2: Well I have a better one!

Person 5: Oh! Yeah! Let’s hear it!

Person 2: Ok… Six short slow shepherds.. How did you like that?!

Person 5: It was okay I have heard better!

Person 2: Whatever! Maybe we should go back inside and start fishing some more

(We all go back inside)

Person 1: I can’t find my fishing pole

Person 4: Maybe yours is the one in the bottom of the aquarium

Person 1: I hope not!

Person 4: If you can’t find your fishing pole that means Kris Kringle stole it.

Person 1: How dare you talk about my father like that!?

Person 3: Your father is nothing but a fraud, Kris Kringle carefully crunched on candy canes; that’s what I have to say about him!

Person 1: Oh yeah? Well both of your mothers are a spawn of rodents!

Person 4: My mother is a brilliant woman!

Person 3: Take it back your son of a fraud!

Person 5: I don’t know what’s going on but I’m not getting into this

Person 3: Sauce face, you heard it all, you’re already in this.

Person 1: I’m just curious where my fishing pole went!!

Person 4: Don’t you dare change the subject on me, you insulted my mother!

Person 1: Oh yeaaaah? It’s not my fault she stood on the balcony inexplicably mimicking him hiccupping and amicably welcoming him home?

Person 4: How dare you tell that story of my mom!?

Person 2: Ok, ok, guys enough. Let’s go get back to fishing and finding our invisible pants.

Person 3: We have invisible pants?

Person 1: Yeah, I’m confused on the invisible pants.

Person 2: All you guys are worthless. Kris Kringle gave it to us.

Person 4: Kris Kringle died twenty years ago. It was an unfortunate accident involving bobsledding and Nazis.

Person 1: My father is dead? *starts to sob*

Person 3: Listen village idiot, your father is named Vin Diesel and he is an actor, where do you think you get all of your money?

Person 1: I remember now, whew.

Person 2: Can we get back to fishing now?
Person 3: Shut up, will you, William?

 Person 2: Who’s William?

Person 4: Who knows?

Person 1: Let’s just fish already. I want to catch another shark.

Person 5: You really want to go to jail, don’t you?

Person 1: Shark makes a fine meal.

Person 3: That’s true.

Person 2: I thought of a better tongue twister. Listen to this – once upon a barren moor, there dwelt a bear; also, a boar. The bear could not bear the boar. The boar thought the bear a bore. At last the bear could bear no more of that boar that bored him on the moor. And so one morn he bored the boar. That boar will bore the bear no more. Ha! Beat that!

Person 4: We weren’t even talking about tongue twisters anymore.

Person 5: So?

Person 1: Be quiet, somebody’s coming! Quick, hide the fishing poles!

Person 1: Mine’s at the bottom of the tank!

Person 4: Just hide!

(They all hide. Watchman goes by, whistling.)

Person 3 (subdued): That was close. I think we should go.

Person 5: A miss is as good as a mile! But let’s go anyway.

(They all go outside. A whole bunch of cops come out of hiding.)

Person 2: I’M WITH THE POLICE! GET DOWN ON THE GROUND! YOU’RE UNDER ARREST FOR FISHING IN AN AQUARIUM!

THE END

***

To be quite honest, it doesn’t make any sense to me, either.

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