I started writing this project at 12:00 AM on November 1 of 2009. 6 books, 534, 838 words, and 1,653 pages later, it’s finally finished. I can hardly believe it. I feel like… well, I feel kind of lost. I always get that lost feeling after I finish a book, but this one is multiplied by six. I’ve had the Angel Saga as an ongoing project for almost three years. And now it’s gone. It was wrenched away from me by the devastating words THE END.
I allow myself to be melodramatic when I finish a project, by the way.
You know what the hardest part of writing this monster was? Writing those words, the end. I know everything about my characters Angel and Hell. Literally, everything. I have their lives planned up until the day they die. And I know all the exciting stuff that happens to them. But I can’t write everything. I have to stop right here, because that is the end of that part of the story.
But it was HARD. I know the Your-Story-Is-Way-Too-Long Police are already after me, but I can’t seem to part with these characters. They’re my favorite characters of all time (although Lexi and Rush are currently fighting tooth and nail for that title).
Give it a few more days. I’ll be able to part with them then. I wasn’t when I actually wrote the final scene. I was pretty broken up, honestly. Half the cast was gone, even Dominic, who I completely adored. He was so sweet and smart and selfless.
I kind of want to show you guys the ending, although it won’t make any sense to you, and it’s terrible writing. Oh well. Hang onto your hats. Here it comes.
Hell slid off the hood and came over to me, ignoring his father. “Angelica.” He brushed his lips against my cheek.
“I’ll see you at the meeting point in two hours,” the General said to me. He trusted me to be there, although he had no reason to. With a curt nod at his son, he walked to the car and drove away.
Hell stood at my side, hands in his pockets. “I… how are you? The twins?”
I smiled. “Darius, don’t. We’ve never bothered with pleasantries before, so don’t start now.”
Even in the faint light, I could see he looked frustrated.
“What’ve you been up to?” I asked, lifting my eyebrows. “I would be offended you missed Dominic’s funeral, but to be honest, I didn’t want you there anyway.”
Now Hell looked offended. “I may not have shown it very well, Angelica, but Dominic was a trusted friend and colleague.”
“No, you didn’t.” I laughed. I could laugh, I found, remembering suddenly Dominic and Hell’s vicious fight. I’d been so surprised when Dominic nearly won. “You two were impossible. I was sure one of you was going to kill the other one day.”
Hell smiled a nostalgic smile. “You seem well.”
“Yeah. It’s funny; it’s just like this really warm feeling inside. And sometimes I can’t be happy, but I can’t be sad, either. I’m content.” I looked back up the hill. “Are you going to go see?”
Hell didn’t answer that question. “Why, Angel? Why wouldn’t you want me there?”
I thought about that for a second. “I’m not angry with you, Hell. I’m not even the slightest bit annoyed. I knew that you would come back when it was over, and I’m glad you did, because I’m going to need you. But in the beginning, it was just me and Dominic. And that was always how it was supposed to end.”
“You loved him,” Hell said quietly.
“Yes.” I tilted my face up to the sky and closed my eyes. The night air stirred against my cheeks like a cool, reassuring hand. “Just like you loved Tandy.”
He started to speak.
I put up my hand. “Don’t you dare. I’m not stupid, Hell, just for the record. Tandy was never me without emotional baggage, not to you. And, honestly, one day I’m going to feel ashamed for calling her my cheap copy. Not yet, though. I still kind of hate her. It comes and goes.”
Hell blew out a breath. “Are you going to let me speak, Angelica, or do you intend to continue expounding on your theories of life?”
One of the twins kicked. I grinned. “Speak away, Hell.”
“This is neither the time nor the place, but it needs to be said.” Hell glanced up the hill when he said that, and a flash of guilt crossed his face. Then he strengthened his resolve. “Everyone you love is dead.”
Neither of us flinched at the word.
“Ramona aside, you are the only one I have left in this world. I’ve lost you before, Angelica, and I hated it. I’m not the same person I used to be. I’m a whole hell of a lot worse. I’m sick of running. I’m sick of death. And I’m afraid to die.” Hell stopped, letting that hang in the air for a moment. “No, I’m not afraid to die. I’m afraid to die alone, angry. I need you, Angel.”
“You know?” he said incredulously. He sounded so un-Hell-like.
“Yes, I know.” I yawned. “You don’t have to sell me, Hell. We only have one rule around here. When you’re all someone has, you don’t leave them behind.” I had to smile again, remembering when Dominic said that to me. “But I’m not going to love you. Not yet.”
My light tone should have reassured him, but Hell looked anything but reassured. He tentatively reached out and attempted to smooth my wind-whipped hair. The wild tendrils immediately fell over my face again.
I took his hand, lacing our fingers together. “Give it a year.”
And that is it. My beloved project is officially over. You know, random side note: when I realized how much story there was to tell, and that it wasn’t going to fit into just three books, I wanted to see if I could make the whole project a whopping million words. Yeah. How awesome would it be to write a book that long?