Make your feeling in THINGS, images. There is so much more in an image because that is how we experience the world, and a good story is about EXPERIENCE, not concepts and certainly not abstractions. The abstractions are always finally empty and dull no matter how dear they may be to our hearts and no matter how profound we think they must be. I am perfectly aware that I am presently speaking in abstractions. So here is an example: there has been an auto accident. A head-on collision. We can say it contains all the horror of death and injury, and the terrible shocks to existence that await us all. Or–as my pal Allan Gurganus did once long ago in a workshop we were in, talking about this very matter–we can say a man with blood trickling from his ear and eyes wide and glittering unnaturally, knelt, shaking, at one of the broken headlights, trying, with trembling fingers, to put the pieces of shattered glass back into place. THAT opens the richest vein of horror, and it is experience, and we witness it, and FEEL it. So, in revision, get rid of all those places where you are commenting on things, and let the things stand for themselves. BE CLEAR about the details that can be felt on the skin and in the nerves.