I do. I hate writing with such a burning passion that I want to grab a shovel, start a bonfire, and just start muscling every word I’ve ever written onto the fire. I will laugh maniacally as smoke billows up into the sky and that horrid burnt paper smell fills the air. My cackling will intensify as I continue to shovel, breaking a sweat yet happier than ever, because everything I’ve ever written will be gone.
Can you imagine that feeling? To lose every word you’d ever written from the time you were born until this very second right now? That would be strange. Devastating. Worthy of sackcloth and ashes style mourning.
But at the same time, it would be a little like starting out as a writer all over again, and that’s exciting. With a slate wiped squeaky clean, you could start your writing journey anew with all the optimism and high hopes of a first-time writer. You can’t even imagine the grueling process of rewriting and editing; critique partners are in your very distant future; publishing is barely a wisp in your brain. Your only thought is for the writing, the careful formation of each word, making characters in your head translate to the page.
I think I’m in a mid-writing-life crisis. Can I be in a mid-writing-life crisis? I might be too young. I’m in some sort of crisis, although it might just be inability-to-string-two-thoughts-together-because-you’re-both-bored-and-overwhelmed-and-underwhelmed-all-at-once.
There are lots of projects I could be working on at the moment, but I have no inclination to work on them. All of my old ideas are… well, old. There is one idea I’m excited about, but I’m saving it for NaNo because goodness knows if I’ll be able to come up with another one before then. The thought of editing any of my writings makes me want to chew on my eyeballs (ugh; no idea where that completely gross thought came from).
BUT… reading about other people’s productivity is making me mega jealous. I’m pretty competitive where writing is concerned. I like to write more than other people. I’m just going to fess up and own that side of me.
To everybody reading this: go write an Epic Scene of Mind-Boggling Aweseomesauce. Then, come back here and taunt me. I’m pretty sure that’ll make me want to write.